Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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