i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
