Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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