dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
