I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
