I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
