kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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