'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize