Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you still have your period?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
