I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
