There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
