After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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