she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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