My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
