I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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