Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
