I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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