He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
