So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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