I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
