mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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