I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
