I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
