In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
