it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
