All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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