Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
did i just pee glitter
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize