the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
