Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
