I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
