Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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