okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How naked do you want me to be?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
