wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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