FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
