Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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