He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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