i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
