As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
