like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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