Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
as a side note pls kill me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
