if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
