It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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