Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
