Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
