You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
