I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
