i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
