Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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