Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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