Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
