I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
