Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
