YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
