OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
