Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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