All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I understand Curling. That high.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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