he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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