Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
