i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
