I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
