and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
